January, 2009

January, 2009

I remember when I first heard about the discipline of fasting. I was in college and read Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline. I was intrigued because he was advocating stuff that belonged to “the other team”, things I had never learned about growing up. That book was the catalyst to help me pray with more than a laundry list of requests. It was then that I also began to journal. And I began to incorporate fasting with my prayer time when I felt the need.

At first, my fasting was mostly for a specific request – something I wanted or needed intensely. (Usually I needed direction in something I was considering. And dates. Getting a date was almost always on my prayer list in those desperate years.) I wasn’t perfect in my motivations, but I was learning. I also fasted when I just wanted to feel closer to God. I would be feeling distant, and after searching my heart for known sins and coming up empty, I still would feel a lack in my relationship with God. So I would fast and pray to ask God to renew my feelings of desire and love for Him.

Why fast? Often I found fasting seemed to increase my spiritual sensitivity. God would remind me of sins that needed dealing with. I would have my clarity in my prayers. And I seemed to just be more “in tune” when reading the Bible. Most of the time I find I need to have more time for reflection during seasons of fasting (whether it be for one meal, one week, or 40 days). I need to clear some space and have more time to journal. My journal time is consistently where I learn the most as I process what I hear the Spirit saying through the Word or through others. I’ve known others who process best when running or when hiking out in the woods. I love talking to God when I run, but if I want to remember what He impresses on my heart during that run, I’ve got to write it down.

This fall I had a strange thing happen. There is a couple here undergoing huge trials. I barely know them, but got wind of it and felt compelled to pray for them, so I emailed the guy to tell him I’d be praying for them. What was weird is that, instead of praying a few times, God would not let this one go. I was waking up multiple times at night with them on my mind. (To put that in perspective, know that for the last ten years Mike has done most all night duty with our kiddos. I sleep through cries, vomitings, fevers, whatever.) They were on my mind when I’d go for a walk, at meal times, every time I turned around it seemed I was thinking of them. So I prayed. And prayed some more. And more.

And then the effects of the bad economy started to affect many of the ministries we love and support. People – friends – were being let go. Budgets were being cut. Normally tightening the belt can be a healthy thing, but many of these groups were already running lean and mean. The next thing to be cut was ministry itself. These are tough times for everyone, but for groups such as these whose livelihoods often depend on others’ surplus or, at least, on others feeling generous, it is especially difficult. So, added to the couple on my prayer list, were these ministries, often weighing my heart in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time.

The weight got so pressing I finally, around Christmas, decided to start the New Year with 40 days of prayer and fasting for this couple and these groups. I thought maybe I’d write this newsletter near the end of those forty days and be able to tell how well it went. Instead, it was probably the most difficult time of fasting I have ever done. Yes, the couple’s health issues improved some, but not without much pain. And the ministries are still barely surviving.

For myself, I had trouble carving out time to journal. In fact, instead of journaling more, I probably did less than I had in a year! I had trouble concentrating in prayer. My sister came into town right before I finished the forty days and she asked me what had changed during the fast. I had to tell her pretty much nothing had changed. Sure, I prayed more than usual, but I kept feeling like it wasn’t “connecting”. One ministry is asking for prayer (with or without fasting) every Tuesday for the year (which I had wanted them to do) and the day after my fast ended I even missed the Tuesday prayer time. It was frustrating. It was bizarre. I wanted to write my newsletter, but wasn’t sure how to even write about it. In Scripture, fasting and prayer go hand-in-hand. Or you can pray without fasting. But it doesn’t direct us to fast without prayer.

So I write this time as an appeal on behalf of those who are serving God by serving others. Please join me in prayer for them. Have your computer remind you every Tuesday this year. Pray that God’s word will continue to go out. Pray that they are able to continue helping others in the name of Christ. For some of these ministries, even their survival is in question. Pray for those that they are trying to reach, that their hearts will be turned to God. Just pray. Give. Serve. Volunteer. And then pray some more.

And be thankful that, no matter how this year goes, we know Who wins in the end.

Like a rock,
The Submissive Despot

Amy Louise

Amy Shane