January, 2008
Last year, instead of the normal birthday gifts, my parents wanted to encourage their grandkids to look beyond themselves and give to others. So they gave each kid $50 with instructions add of their own money to it (as much as they wanted to add) and then find a project that they wanted to support and give it away. All they asked was a report on what they did with it.
We began talking about various projects and each birthday, when another kid got their funds, conversation would start up again. All of my kids did an awesome job. Abby had already made a practice of giving by sponsoring a World Vision child. Anna has always been careful to monitor her tithes. Emma has always been quick to feel other’s pain and gives quickly and without hesitation. And Ian and Elly are learning to do the same, though perhaps it takes more thought than instinct on their parts. I am so proud of all of my kids’ efforts.
One of my kids, however, really grasped the intent of this project. Not only did they give generously, they also desired anonymity in doing so. Thus, I will try to protect them with this awkward cryptic plural-pronoun style. Anyway, when this kid heard about it, they immediately started praying and asking God where He would like it to be given. And they started doing research into projects that they would feel a vested interest in – one that would capture their hearts, and not just their money. All of my kids set aside an extra 10% offering of their allowance for this giving during the year, but this one did some calculations and realized that their 10% wasn’t enough to do what they wanted to accomplish. They had chosen Women at Risk ministries, an organization run by a friend of mine which reaches out to (obviously) women at risk throughout the world through various economic projects, safe houses, etc. They help with rescuing women caught in the sex slave industry, women who have been widowed who are destitute or abandoned, and girls about to leave an orphanage with no means to support themselves, to name a few. Though I tried to explain that God didn’t look at the size of the gift, but at the heart of the person giving it, this child refused to be swayed. They went over their allowance, eliminating every extra, keeping only expenses that were absolute necessities. They then took all of the rest of their allowance to put toward the project. Extra odd jobs went into the fund. And then the topper: they requested no Christmas gifts. From anyone. They wanted only cash that could be put toward their fund.
At first I thought I’d still buy my child a small gift, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that to honor my child, I needed to follow their request. It was the hardest shopping time I have ever done. Buying gifts for 4 out of 5 children. I felt like a Grinch or an evil mother. And unlike previous years, I went overboard. It wasn’t that I was trying to rub salt into the wound, but it almost came across that way. Yet I knew I was doing as asked. Christmas day was even harder. Yes, the child got a couple of trinkets in their stocking, but when everyone else was blowing through wrapping paper, this child sat quiet. I could see by the look in their eyes that they were determined not to feel badly. Yet it was a struggle. They knew they had asked for this. My heart was torn. Even when my child opened the box that held the check for the ministry and their smile returned, I think a tear may have also been visible. It was tough.
The next week, this child received a call from the ministry telling my child about a girl in the Middle East who was being raped in her home by an uncle and needed to get out and on her own to be away from that evil man. They needed money to help train her with some job skills and help get her set up in business in a culturally appropriate way. Could they use the money for this project?
My child was exuberant that evening. To know they had helped a specific individual, someone with a name and a real story made it all worth it. I think a general sacrifice is too generic, too nebulous. Jesus gave His own life in sacrifice for us. He didn’t do it for a blank face or for someone He didn’t know. He knows us each. By name. Scripture says that I am going to get a new name, one that I don’t even know myself yet, known only to Jesus right now. Joy comes when we know that sacrifice is for a purpose. Someday, I hope my child will get to meet the person they helped. It may not be until heaven, but that’s fine.
The Submissive Despot
Amy Louise
Amy Shane
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