October, 2005 celebration

October, 2005

Perhaps it was genetically induced or maybe it was from growing up too close to the North Pole, but it really is my own fault. Something in my Midwest mindset dictates that celebration is a form of self-exultation which is inherently evil. Fifty years of marriage are always accompanied by a “Your presence is the only present desired” clause, eliminating all fiesta atmosphere. Birthdays were given a simple cake and basic gift. Anything more than new underwear meant you were pretty special. But give something extravagant and you’d “spoil” them. I remember the first birthday party I attended after my move to California. SO much money spent on a one-year-old who wouldn’t even remember the occasion! I tut-tutted my way through it, vowing to never make such a fool of myself with frivolous spending.

So we’ve downplayed birthdays and other occasions. Don’t want any big heads floating around my house thinking they are special or something! We did play them up slightly in Inner Mongolia with posters and balloons but that was because we didn’t want the kids feeling deprived given that they were “suffering” overseas. But here, parties are limited to one in elementary school and another in junior high and one in high school. It amazes me the number of invitations we get from the kids at school who have $200 birthday parties every year

Two weeks ago, Mike and I attended a celebration conference in Washington DC. This ministry was celebrating 25 years of service in China and Asia. But the leaders were having a tough time overcoming the guilt of spending money to celebrate when the budget was tight. The master of ceremonies, in addressing this guilt-factor, mentioned a passage in Deuteronomy 14 that speaks of the tithe. In it God had said if the Israelites couldn’t get to the temple to give the tithe, they were to spend the money to have a feast, a party, a major blow-out and have – dare I say it?? – fun! Wow! A party just for the sake of having fun? And we get to put it on God’s tab?? You mean we don’t have to always pray with a somber face when we say (sit up straight and clear your voice here:) “Father, we thank Thee for Thine bountiful gifts that Thou hast bestowed upon us”?

My question is this: why was I never taught this? I checked out the passage. Apparently the Israelites were to take 10% of their crops, etc. and go eat them by in temple, in the presence of the Lord as a way of being aware of His goodness to them. So where along the way did it turn into the tithe being given to the church to maintain their general fund? I don’t believe I’ve ever heard a sermon on this subject. Could it be that a party could actually be a form of worship? I’ve heard plenty of sermons on humility and gravity, on supporting the building funds; I’ve heard them on being a good steward and on fiscal responsibility, but on blowing a wad? For a party?? Must have been absent that Sunday.

So, fast forward a couple of days. I had come home from this wonderful conference. I had been nurtured and refreshed. And I had celebrated. The next day, Chip Ingram spoke at our church. (Awesome speaker – check him out at www.lote.org!) He spoke on the Goodness of God. I’ve frequently heard people talk about how God is good even when things are going rough, even when the world around you is falling apart. I experienced first-hand His unfailing goodness and kindness as He walked with me through the tough transition from China to the USA, through challenging times in our marriage, through the ever-present trials of parenting. But what really got my attention was part of a quote that Chip gave, from A.W. Tozer (another of my heroes):

The goodness of God is that which disposes Him to be kind,

cordial, benevolent, and full of good will toward men. He is

tenderhearted and of quick sympathy, and His unfailing attitude

toward all moral beings is open, frank, and friendly. By His

nature He is inclined to bestow blessedness and He takes total

pleasure in the happiness of His people. (from Knowledge of the

Holy, pg. 82, italics mine)

Why is it, for me at least, it is easier to roust myself out of suffering to celebrate God’s goodness than when things are going well. Am I so programmed to the humility-mentality that I forget that celebrating is also a form of worship? The Monday after Chip’s sermon, God answered a request that I’d been praying for for seven years. This one was easy to celebrate. No guilt here. I prayed, God answered yes. Thank you, God!!

Then came Tuesday. After I had gone through the stuff of day, was tired, and had just put dinner on, I went to the office to go through the mail which Mike had earlier brought in. In it was the latest issue of Writer’s Digest. Now let me fill you in on some background: last spring I wanted to get my friend to the Christian Writer’s Conference at Mt. Hermon. She wouldn’t go without me and since I had wanted to go (but was waiting until things were “less busy”) I decided to go as well. I came ill-prepared, with no manuscripts nor anything to show the editors, etc. Not knowing what else to do, I took a magazine article writing class. Since I had brought nothing to critique, I asked the facilitator if I could email her that old manger story I had written a couple of Christmases ago. (Keep in mind this newsletter had not yet been started.) After rewriting said Christmas letter into magazine format, I sent it off and since I had gone to so much trouble, I even submitted it to a couple of magazines. Amazingly, she liked it and said I should enter it in WD’s annual writing competition. The submission to the contest crossed in cyberspace with my rejection notices from the magazines which caused me to mentally file the competition in the proverbial circular file.

So back to the present – I was about to put the issue in my “when I’m too tired to read anything that takes much thought” pile on the nightstand when I noticed it had a banner announcing contest results. I opened it, wondering who had won since I hadn’t heard anything. I can’t begin to tell you my surprise when I saw my name in print. Under the inspirational category, there it was: seventh place. Not bad. Then I read more of the article. There were 17,357 entries in 10 different categories. Suddenly seventh place seemed really good. I started shrieking like a banshee. I screamed all over the house for Mike who came out of his cave, wondering if I had sliced off my arm or something. No, they didn’t publish the story. They only put the top ten names and titles in each category in the magazine, the top 100 names and cities will be online. If you pay money you can get a copy of the top one in each category. So, it’s not published, per se, but it sure gave me a shot in the arm!

Since I burned dinner in the aftermath and since I had celebrating on the brain, I gathered up the family, called my friend, Dee, who had helped me edit the thing, and off we went to my favorite ice cream shop where I indulged in my favorite sundae with absolutely no care for the calories. (The only other time I have done that was after the births of the last three kids which I figured had burned a few calories.) I called people left and right. The hardest thing was waiting until morning to call my east coast friends and relatives.

Then the guilt started. Oh my. Was I bragging? Was I showing enough humility? What made it worse was that I wanted more: I wanted cards, flowers, sky-writing, jewelry – something – anything - to mark the occasion. What I got was a household of people used to downplaying special occasions. Was I being selfish for wanting to celebrate? Was I giving glory to God? Maybe I should re-phrase it in a more spiritual way. “Praise the Lord, I won!” Does that make it more acceptable? Or does indeed God rejoice and take total pleasure in this happiness? Could it be that my joy is actually a form of worship?

My piano teacher used to tell me that if I got a bad score in a competition to remember that it was how I played that particular song on that particular day in front of those particular judges who had had that particular burrito. And the same was true if the score was a good one. So I figure I’ll file the contest results next to the rejection letters. And I’ll just get writing again – who knows, maybe the next one will get published.

In the meantime, I’m going to keep dancing! And maybe I’ll even put more effort into my kids’ upcoming birthdays.

Like a rock,

The Submissive Despot

Amy Shane